I realized the other day that there are a lot of conniving, sometimes mean, usually shrewd, brunette bitches out there in pop culture land. And you know what - I love them. They may be mean, but they're smart, and they're resourceful, often stylish, and they know what they want and how to get it. As a natural brunette - I have to say that many of these stereotypes do not transfer to my actual self. For the most part, I guess I don't really mind not being a calculating, money-grubbing she-devil, but I don't think it would hurt if I could channel just a little of their "go get 'em" attitude.
So in celebration of this widely used pop-culture stereotype, here is a list of my favorite brunette bitches:
Lucy van Pelt from Peanuts:
She may have swindled Charlie Brown out of countless nickles and given him many a bruised backside (and ego), but this bitch is in charge. If only Schroeder would look up from his piano and notice it.
She of the blue-black hair, Veronica Lodge from Archie comics:
The money hungry, vain foil to the angelically blonde Betty Cooper. Whatever Betty! Veronica got Archie in the end! (ok, yeah, even I realize that this development is lame. In this case the blonde should have won. Archie and Betty belong together, and Veronica needs to get with Reggie. Besides, Reggie is hotter anyway and might actually be able to keep up with her! A feat Archie would never be able to accomplish.) (Note: On further research, this story line is still in progress, so Betty could win out in the end. Here's hoping!)
Blair Waldorf from Gossip Girl:
Oh Blair. The consummate conniver. Blair is the epitome of the brunette who will go to any measures to get what she wants. And I love her for it. And Blair, you'd better stay with Chuck this season even though I hear rumor that he will be kissing some boy as a part of some scheme you two cook up, but then he may actually unintentionally realize that he likes it!
Ursula the Sea-witch in human form as Vanessa from The Little Mermaid:
The ultimate bitch! She's so evil! And manipulative! And psychotic! But I still love her anyway. I don't know why! She's really pretty, and she's just SOOOO evil that you've just kind of got to give her props. She went for it. And plus her clothes are better than Ariels, and she wears that awesome shell necklace.
So those are my faves. I also considered Scarlett O'Hara, and Cleopatra (yeah, she's technically a real figure, but she's basically fictionalized at this point), but they just don't quite make the cut for me. I feel like I'm missing some good ones, but I'm having some kind of brain wipeout and I just can't think of any more at the moment! Do you all have any more to add? I'd be interested to see what you all think.
Now before I completely wrap this post up, here's an interesting side note. Whilst trolling around the internet gathering material for this post, I found an interesting article detailing the "Bond Girls" of the James Bond movies. According to this article, of the 98 women who Bond has had "sexual contact" with in his movies, 59 percent of them were brunette, compared to 27 percent blonde, and 9 percent red-headed. Verrrryyyy interesting. Also, the average age of the Bond girl is apparently 26. I don't know how they computed that, as I can't imagine that they have specific data of all of the bond girls ages, but whatever. Interesting none-the-less.
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