Book Review: Bright Star

Bright Star by John Keats

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


I'm starting to think that Keats was more in love with the literary stimulation induced by unobtainable love than he was ever in love with Fanny, but the letters have value where they provide intriguing insight into this psychology. If only there were more.



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Book Review: The Player by Michael Tolkin

The Player by Michael Tolkin

My rating: 2 of 5 stars


I read this book for my adaptation class, so my vision of it is clouded by the fact that I watched the film when I was only 50 pages into it. I hated the film. And then as I was reading the rest, I loved the film and I was unimpressed with the book. So... I just don't know how I feel about either anymore. The film was unappealing, but had an overarching philosophical intention, while the book was more approachable, but the author seems to have lost a clear sense of purpose after the major turning point in the plot (no spoilers here). So... yeah. It was okay. They need each other, and make one another look bad at the same time. It's like a train-wreck, co-dependent relationship. That in itself makes for an interesting experience worth being part of. Hooray for adaptation. :)



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P.S. - I actually read the original hardcover, but there aren't any pictures available online. Google says it may have a copyright. Why would anyone want their art to disappear from public consciousness? What other images are lost to us? Hmm... Read More......

Book Review: Concrete by Thomas Bernhard

Concrete by Thomas Bernhard

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


This is a book that every over-analytical, self-indulgent procrastinator must read. The sprawling notions of the narrator reveal many paradoxical truths about human nature. And hey, you can knock it out in an afternoon. So why not?



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Book Review: Metro Stop Paris

Metro Stop Paris by Gregor Dallas

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


Walking through my local library recently, I happened upon a book that rang out with familiarity, immediately transporting me back to my one summer in Paris three years ago in which I stood outside the Shakespeare and Co. bookstore near Notre Dame and listed to a memorable little Englishman read his work to attentive bibliophiles, and passersby.

That author, Gregor Dallas, opens his book with an appeal for his meandering approach to French history, writing, "The more history I wrote, the more I realized that history is travelling: if you don't see the places where the major events of the past occurred, you get lost in the abstractions, system-building and theories that have so distorted our view of the past over the last few decades...some historians write history as if the event they describe could have occurred anywhere on the globe."

Unfortunately, while the process of writing the book may have invoked a travelers romanticism for its author, Dallas does not likewise fully immerse and gratify his readers’ senses--his descriptions of physical place are superficial at best, and the use of the Paris metro stops is never illustrative and well justified. Often, Dallas begins with a brief description of space couched in an argument for its philosophical importance—lost in beautiful abstractions about creativity and life and death—and then he too quickly deviates into historical accounts, no longer orienting readers around street corners let alone near the metro stop names that serve as each chapter title.

Still, consider this a mere packaging problem. It does not hurt the book once one lays aside the expectation for a sensorial ride through underground Paris. What shines in the book is the way it lays together many Parisian stories (depicting everyone from Oscar Wilde to Catherine de Medici and Sartre to Debussy), allowing them to play a part in a larger epic narrative. Where Dallas misses opportunities to unite a sense of place, he more than compensates with his insight into character. One begins to imagine time layered on top of itself, and its major players read like the Gods of Greek mythology.

So, while the book is not a complete success (and perhaps ends too abruptly), it does manage to make lives jump from the page, and serves as a meeting place for those who have been there and can remember the sights and smells enough to indulge in their own memories, and feel like part of a story greater than their own.




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Book Review: The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake by Aimee Bender

The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake by Aimee Bender

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


I'm a fan of 'the gimmick' and Aimee Bender's book applies a pretty fascinating one: its protagonist, Rose, is able to taste people's deepest feelings in the food they prepare. Maybe you're skeptical though. The threat, I know, is that the whole novel will have to kowtow to this central plot device--putting undue weight on Bender's ability to write a decent, unpredictable ending. Well lay your fears aside.
From page five, when I was running the book to my copy machine to save a particularly well written scene, I knew this was going to be something more. Bender, somehow, manages to make Rose's 'special skill' into something less interesting than the humanity it helps her to recognize: her father, hiding blind in his nostalgic idealism; her mother, inexpertly trying to see a place in a family that makes her feel like an invisible student among prophets, a brother who wanders in and out of rooms like a ghost, taxed by the weight of knowing too much without the means to express it, and George, the friend who brings the light, but also takes it with him when he goes. And scattered along the way are numerous tinier allegories, stories, and clues that help you to imbibe this world, taste it as Rose does, and discover it, and her, and yourself along the way. Allow this book to spread over your palate, and it may just reveal to you, I hope, your own special gifts, that you, also, too often dismiss as a curse, because they require you to grow and make something of them.

"Food is all those substances which, submitted to the action of the stomach, can be assimilated or changed into life by digestion, and can thus repair the losses which the human body suffers through the act of living."
-The Physiology of Taste, Brillat-Savarin
(epigraph to The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake)

Rose on Doritos:
"What is good about a Dorito, I said, in full voice, is that I'm not supposed to pay attention to it. As soon as I do, it tastes like every other ordinary chip. But if I stop paying attention, it becomes the most delicious thing in the world...
...a Dorito asks nothing of you, which is its great gift. It only asks that you are not there."
(pp. 127-8)



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Book Review: Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins

Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


My friend Amy and I have been speculating on which district we'd like to be from, and while I won't spoil it for anyone, I will say that I came away feeling like one of the hairdressers from district one-- a little bit idealistic and naive. The final book turns on you in a way that makes the message hit home, but the love story not so much. It wasn't what I was expecting, but I feel like I learned something in a gut-wrenching way.



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First Lady Hair

Let's play a little game. It's called match the First Lady to the hair. Alternative game: which First Lady had the coolest hair? My votes go for Ellen Arthur.

Key after the break! (click to enlarge)



Hair-Portraits of First Ladies. From left to right:
1st row: Martha Washington, Abigail Adams, Martha Randolph, Dolley Madison, Elizabeth Monroe, Louisa Adams
2nd row: Rachel Jackson, Hannah Van Buren, Anna Harrison, Letitia Tyler, Julia Tyler
3rd row: Sarah Polk, Margaret Taylor, Abigail Fillmore, Jane Pierce, Harriet Lane
4th row: Mary Lincoln, Eliza Johnson, Julia Grant, Lucy Hayes, Lucretia Garfield
5th row: Ellen Arthur, Frances Cleveland, Caroline Harrison, Frances Cleveland, Ida McKinley
6th row: Edith Roosevelt, Helen Taft, Ellen Wilson, Edith Wilson, Florence Harding
7th row: Grace Coolidge, Lou Hoover, Eleanor Roosevelt, Bess Truman, Mamie Eisenhower
8th row: Jacqueline Kennedy, Lady Bird Johnson, Pat Nixon, Betty Ford, Rosalynn Carter
9th row: Nancy Reagan, Barbara Bush, Hillary Clinton, Laura Bush, Michelle Obama.

NY Times Published July 4, 2009
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Top 5 Worst Movie Adaptations of Books I've Read

5) Devil Wears Prada: If you hadn't read the book then you probably enjoyed the movie. It had all the makings of a fun girl flick. The only problem was that the book wasn't really about shopping and glamor. It was actually more edgy than the movie made it seem. My big problems with this were that my favorite part of the book, the fuck you! ending was changed obviously because the movie needed a pg13 rating. And also I didn't understand why they changed the love interest's name.

4) Vanity Fair: This adaptation of William Makepeace Thackeray's novel of the same title. Though in truth his work would seem better suited to a lengthy and multi-episode mini tv series (889 pages in the paperback edition). This movie had all the promise of being a true adaptation but perhaps went awry in the casting of the delightful Reese Witherspoon to play the devious yet charming Becky. The whole feeling of that character was thrown off and therefore the whole feeling of the story.

3) The Other Boleyn Girl: Perhaps this movie was doomed to be a failure in my mind. I mean this is the book that spawned my Obsession with Tudor England. ANd yet I feel even so the film relied way too much on it A-list celebs and its admittedly great costuming. It had none of the amazing depth that the book had. You didn't cry when Anne was beheaded but were happy. They tried but just fell short. Thank goodness for Showtime's The Tudors. Though it strayed from the facts a fair amount of the time it at least was entertaining as hell.

2) ALL LMN adaptations of Nora Roberts books, ESPECIALLY Montana Sky: Terrible, but then again it is Lifetime Movie Network. What can you expect? I'll tell you what, a Lot more! It wouldn't have been that hard to make a great story like this be a great movie.

1) Ella Enchanted: Worst movie ever!!!!!!!!!! Seriously, I can't even believe that someone could have made a movie this bad from such a truly amazing book. It was the biggest let down I've ever experienced in a movie viewing. I mean there was way inappropriate costume choices. It looked like a high schooler had designed them all. Then there were the strange musical numbers. Who thought that was a good idea? And even though I'm sure i could go on with more examples but obviously I never bothered to watch it again so I've forgotten most of its many offenses. The one redeaming factor was probably the fact that Hugh Dancy was in the male lead.

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New Old Words

It's been awhile, and the words have been piling up. I had a good stack of Ye Olde Forgottene Englishe Wordse that I took a liking too. But Alas, there were just too many for one post, so I whittled the words down to ones that could actually be used in general conversation (sorry "Succubus - female phantom with which a man, in his sleep, sometimes believes he has intercourse.") So here, for your perusal and use as you see fit:

Wooden Hills:
A common slang term for stairs.
-Thomas Darlington's Folk-Speech of South Cheshire, 1887
(A word I unconsciously felt, but never knew.)

Afterwrath:
Wrath arising not at the time, but after reflection on an insult or injury, which seemed at the time light, has shown its enormity.
-Edward Lloyd's Encyclopaedic Dictionary, 1895
(A word I feel should NEVER have gone out of use. Such a good one!)

Dictionatical:
Such as the dictionary authorizes or approves. "I don't think that word is dictionatical."
-J.C. Ruppenthal's Word-List from Kansas, 1916
(A word our beloved Ted Mosby would take a liking to, I suspect.)

Heart-scald:
Heartburn; figuratively a great disappointment. Also heart-scad.
-Joseph Wright's English Dialect Dictionary, 1896-1905
(A word both prosaic, or romantic, as you see fit. My mom really liked this word and she thought it was kind of sad and romantic. I think she's actually brought it up a few times since she first saw it on March 12, a Friday.)

Well, I think my favorite from those is "afterwrath", while my mom's is "heart-scald". What's your favorite?! Read More......

Might I Suggest a Mash-up?: Buffy and Betty

Welcome to a new media segment I'm going to call "Might I Suggest a Mash-up?" (as you may have noticed).

This weeks mash-up? Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Betty Draper...




Ever noticed how similar they look? Well, who's to say that Buffy's slaying predecessor wasn't a fussy, tight-lipped woman from the 50s/60s? I mean, slayers aren't known for having the longest life expectancy. It could have happened.

So here's the show: Betty Draper moves away (already happened), when she meets an older, wiser gent who tells her that she's got a destiny (a spin-off show)in which she's a rockin' vampire slayer (maybe FOX is jonesin' to get into the vampire market?).

Your mission: recommend songs for the soundtrack. Anything from the 50s/60s and even the 90s and today that could add some style to the show. Mash-ups preferred!!

My Mission: to recommend some research to you. If you're interested in vampire/history mash-ups, check out the new book "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" by Seth Grahame-Smith, author of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. (I know I will!)



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Two New-Old Words

On this beautiful March day, I have two wonderful words to relay to you all that, in my opinion, need to jimmy themselves back into our everyday lexicon. On second thought, maybe they just need to apply to the "Romance Novel Character Division" ASAP, because that's really where they belong.

Our first word. Imagine a grey and barren landscape surrounding a once handsome, but now showing signs of neglect, southern farmhouse. Inside, two women sit by the fire, debating. Jimmy hasn't been in his right mind since he returned home after being injured in the war, but with no end in sight to the horrible battles raging around them, Arabella feel duty bound to her family and her ideals. There's no way Jimmy can re-enlist, even though his wounds have long since mended themselves. Arabella sees only one option; to Transfeminate:

To turn from woman to man, or from one sex to another.
- Thomas Blount's Glossographia, 1656

It may get awkward when Arabella is captured by a group of Yankees, and even more awkward still when Arabella begins to feel an unwanted spark of attraction to the handsome, and overbearing, Yankee Captain. When Arabella catches a horrible case of pneumonia, her secret is in peril. How will this case of transfemination end for the headstrong Arabella and the handsome Yankee Captain?

Our second word. Honestly, I was writing out a plot for this word, but it was taking way too long. So I'll just give you the word. Insert it into any romance plot you see fit. It will make for a very memorable secondary character indeed.

Metromania:

A species of insanity in which the patient evinces a rage for reciting poetry. From Greek metreon, metre, and mainomai, to be insane.
- Rev. John Boag's Imperial Lexicon of the English Language, c. 1850. Read More......

Love, Courtship, and Marriage, or How to Win a Lover.

Casey was so kind as to give me a small pamphlet, first published in 1880, called "Love, Courtship, and Marriage, or How to win a Lover" for my birthday. What better place to discuss it than the salon! After all, a bunch of spinsters like us could sure use the advice!

Todays discussion will revolve around..... Courtship!



(This picture is totally a literal depiction of how my "courtship" is going to go by the way.)

Moving on. Here are some tidbits to spark discussion.

Choosing Your Life Partner
"There are men, and very often the best too, who are shy and need encouragement, inasmuch as it should be remembered that the men who declare their love in most beautiful language are those who love least truly."

For Would-be Engaged Girls
"Do not forget that the girls who are most successful in securing husbands are those who do all in their power to fit themselves for the role of matrons while spinsters. Do not give way to the dangerous habit of playing at courtship. It has often nipped in the bud many a girl's good and perhaps sole chance of changing her name and condition."

May and December Relationships
Boiled down - this book advises - DON'T DO IT! It will end in heartache. Also, they seem to think that "elderly women rarely make such a mistake". Boy would they be disappointed by the emergence of "cougars"

Lover's Quarrels
"Some old writers used to say that the quarrels of lovers were the renewing of love. There is no truth in it."

Women Men Dislike (I feel the need to write out the whole of this section so we can fully avoid falling into any of these pitfalls.)
"The woman who excuses herself when telling an unpleasant thing, by stating it is her duty."
"The woman with a rasping voice, who has a troop of children with whom she must continually converse." (I don't even know what they're talking about with that one....)
"The woman who can talk of nothing but men and dress."
"The woman who intimates that her baby is much superior to any other." (But what if they really are???)
"The woman who spends the best part of her life in following the latest fashions."
"The woman who likes dogs better than children."
"The woman in the train or omnibus, who boasts about her private affairs so that everybody can hear." (Hello pet peeve! Modern day equivalent - talking too loudly on your cellphone, while on the omnibus.)
"The woman with a pet ailment"
"Men like a girl who is slow and soft in her speech. They dislike the girl who is the least bit rapid in her manner or speech. They may talk to her, flirt with her perhaps, but in their heart she is disliked."

To the Girl in Love
"The way to bore your friends is by constantly quoting what "he"says or thinks." (Funny how some things always stay the same, lol)
"Don't wear only the colours which "he" pronounces the most becoming, if they make you look a fright."
"Don't strive to make your younger sister jealous occasionally." (Something to keep in mind for the future.)
"Don't neglect the housework because you're in love."

The Appropriate Length of Courtship
"The longer the wooing, the better the contracting parties know each other; while the shorter is vice versa. Of course there is such a thing as carrying things to extremes, and a courtship which is too long is apt to be wearisome."

How to Choose a Sweetheart (again, I will transcribe all that they have to say on this subject. Seems pretty important to me.)
"First of all, respect yourself, then you will win respect."
"Love is blind, but marriage is a capital eye-opener."
"All have love, but few know how to use it right."
"Very dark or very light complexion persons should marry one with medium complexion." (and up until this point I was thinking how their proclamations were basically standing the test of time.)
"Very tall or very short persons should marry one medium built."
"Never marry extreme opposites or where there is too much sameness." (ahh, and now we get back to some legitimately good advice.)
"Never marry just for money or position or you may live to regret it."
"In choosing a wife see that she can mend a dress and cook a dinner." (Success on both parts! You're welcome mankind.)
"In choosing a husband see that he is kind to his mother and sisters." (Seriously - that is very good advice. I was literally thinking that very thing to myself just a couple days ago. Don't know why I thought about it in the first place though....)
"Keep your mind and eye upon those you love or care for."
"Don't talk too much in the presence of those you love; at times silence is golden."
"In conversation don't talk too much of 'Self'."
"Before getting married, send the Photo or Handwriting of your Sweetheart, to the address on the cover of this book, and find out if you are suited to each other." (How weird! But just in case you want to, here's the address: " Address all letters to - "Madame" 122, Railway Terrace, Padiham." Hello return to sender no zip code or state!)


That basically concludes all that this most useful pamphlet has to say on the subject of courtship. Now to discuss! And if you're interested in seeing ALL that this pamphlet has to say on the subject, feel free to book an appointment with me and I will allow you to peruse it at your leisure. Appointments are for 15 minutes, if you anticipate taking longer, please sign up for multiple time slots to avoid overbooking! Thank you.

Next week: Marriage.

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It's Going to Be a Thing: The Revival

It's been a while since I've done an it's going to be a thing, but I'm back. And the people rejoice. But seriously, I guess I just haven't been inspired recently. Until now. Duh Duh Duhhhhhhh.

So what's going to be a thing in the upcoming months/years do you ask? I'll tell you!

Southwestern! It's ready and rarin' for a revival. I'm thinking Ponchos! Turquoise Jewelry! Navajo inspired patterns. Oh yeah, it's all gonna be there. Personally I may only be embracing the Turquoise jewelry, but whatevs.


Oh yeah, that looks nice.


We're going to be seeing this skirt mass produced an in H&Ms everywhere. Mark my words.

I don't know, I just have a feeling about this one. It may be because I've been so into western romance novels recently, or maybe it's my insane desire to go see the grand canyon, but something has gotten the inspiration juices flowing. Alls I'm saying, is that if I was designing my next fashion line, Southwestern influences would be all up over the place.

So what do y'all think? Read More......

Four New-Old Words.

It's been awhile since my last Forgotten English word post, so the good words have kind of piled up. Thus, I present to you four new-old words that we should bring back.

Pinchery :
A state of extreme carefulness approaching miserliness.
-Rev. M. C. F. Morris' Yorkshire Folk-Talk, 1892

A State of want or deficiency; poverty. Cumberland.
-Joseph Wright's English Dialect Dictionary, 1896 - 1905

Spurticles :
Spectacles
-R. Pearse Chope's The Dialect of Hartland, Devonshire, 1891

*I thought it was adorable when College-Ted exclaimed "My spectacles!" Imagine how much more hilarious it would have been had he said "My Spurticles!" hahahaha.

Kintra-cooser :
A human stallion; a fellow who debauches many country girls.
-John Mactaggart's Scottish Gallovidian Encyclopedia, 1824

From kintra, country, and cooser, a stallion.
-John Jamieson's Etymological Dictionary of the Scottish Language, 1879 revision.

* Future romance novelists take note of this word. In fact, I think you should write a Highlander novel (they are very popular after all), just so you can use this word.

And my favorite word thus far this year! Thorough Cough :
Coughing and breaking wind backwards at the same time.
-Francis Grose's Classical Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue, 1796

*Ah! The mythical cough-fart! I am heartened to know that it's legend has existed throughout the ages. Also, how hilarious is it that the guy who wrote Classical Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue had the last name Grose. I love it.

Now - go forth and use these words at your will. Expect me to. Read More......

Losing their touch? Or just giving in to celeb crushes?

I present the E! Fashion Police picks for best dressed. I think we all know who took home Worst Dressed (but you know she had her own golden globes as consolation...)

According to Joan and crew, George Clooney took home men's best dressed, and Penelope Cruz took home women's best dressed

Ok, I like Penelope Cruz, and we all know that there are some who would go gay for her, but I personally would have given the prestigious best dressed to Anna Paquin. Or even Jennifer Garner...but that might be a personal bias. I wonder if the Fashion Police this year were taken in by Penelope's inexplicably lustrous hair in spite of the January rain. Hmmm...could it be that even celebrities can be sucked in by this Latin god-dess? And back to George. I love George. Who doesn't? He's helping out Haiti with that telethon, but best dressed? I thought he looked like he normally does in the Oceans movies. My vote went to Robert Downey, Jr. I enjoyed his lack of tie. It looked right on him. I also enjoyed his formal scruff-- NOT to be confused with Jon Hamm's formal beard. I'm just more of a scruff girl, I guess. Ok, ladies and Will. I've had my say. Discuss!
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Product Placement: World's End by T.C. Boyle

As an advocate for film and TV being, paradoxically, very capable proponents for literacy, I hereby submit to you...Product Placement!!

Have you ever read a book after seeing the movie tie-in? Have you ever read a book because the heroine in the movie read it? Because it was on a character's nightstand in your favorite TV show? If so, this is the post for you.

Today's Case File: How I Met Your Mother's 100th episode, "Girls vs. Suits"



Book-loving Character: Ted Mosby, architect

Book: T. C. Boyle's 1987 novel, "World's End"

Episode Details: Ted sees this book in the room of the girl he wants to date and cites it as an example of things he and the girl have in common. After he praises the book, the girl reveals that it was a gift from her roommate (the mother!) and that she hasn't read it yet.

Book Details: dark satire, tells the story of several generations of families in the Hudson River Valley, was the winner of the 1988 PEN/Faulkner Award for American Fiction

Why you should read this book if you like HIMYM: according to wikipedia "The reference to this book may, in fact be a humorous allusion to the fact that both the book and the series are satirical re-tellings of history." Reason #2: you secretly wish your were Ted Mosby's one true love.

Where to Buy This Book: Mysteriously enough, I can't find any retailers with this exact, hardback copy of the book. The original 1987 hardback cover looked like this:


The only current copy available is the Penguin paperback which has the following cover and retails for $16.00



Could they be looking to rerelease it? Or is this just another way to string us along, HIMYM??

Other Recommends: If you like T. C. Boyle you can check out his most recent paperback, The Women, which looks at the various women in the life of another beloved architect, Frank Lloyd Wright. Hardcover is $27.95, paperback is $16.00



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New Year: Revival of a Good Thing.

It's a new year on the Salon, and this year I want to bring back a formerly regular Salon post, but with an added twist. I'm talking about Word of the Week! It's always been one of my favorite regular posts, and this year it will be extra easy, because I bought myself a day by day 2010 calendar of "Forgotten English" by Jeffrey Kacirk, so this way I can just post the extra interesting ones.

Today's admission:

Ackenpucky:
Any food mixture of unknown ingredients. West Virginia
- Harold Wentworth's American Dialect Dictionary

Can I get an "Ewwwwww"?! But such a good word. And one I think that could be used often. More often than one would wish.

Ode to An Hot Dog:

Oh my sweet Hot Dog,
It's sad but it's true,
Whilst eschewing meats,
My desires burned only for you.

How is it fair?
Surely I'm not at all lucky,
that my one favorite meat food
is most certainly ackenpucky.

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