Todays discussion will revolve around..... Courtship!
(This picture is totally a literal depiction of how my "courtship" is going to go by the way.)
Moving on. Here are some tidbits to spark discussion.
Choosing Your Life Partner
"There are men, and very often the best too, who are shy and need encouragement, inasmuch as it should be remembered that the men who declare their love in most beautiful language are those who love least truly."
For Would-be Engaged Girls
"Do not forget that the girls who are most successful in securing husbands are those who do all in their power to fit themselves for the role of matrons while spinsters. Do not give way to the dangerous habit of playing at courtship. It has often nipped in the bud many a girl's good and perhaps sole chance of changing her name and condition."
May and December Relationships
Boiled down - this book advises - DON'T DO IT! It will end in heartache. Also, they seem to think that "elderly women rarely make such a mistake". Boy would they be disappointed by the emergence of "cougars"
Lover's Quarrels
"Some old writers used to say that the quarrels of lovers were the renewing of love. There is no truth in it."
Women Men Dislike (I feel the need to write out the whole of this section so we can fully avoid falling into any of these pitfalls.)
"The woman who excuses herself when telling an unpleasant thing, by stating it is her duty."
"The woman with a rasping voice, who has a troop of children with whom she must continually converse." (I don't even know what they're talking about with that one....)
"The woman who can talk of nothing but men and dress."
"The woman who intimates that her baby is much superior to any other." (But what if they really are???)
"The woman who spends the best part of her life in following the latest fashions."
"The woman who likes dogs better than children."
"The woman in the train or omnibus, who boasts about her private affairs so that everybody can hear." (Hello pet peeve! Modern day equivalent - talking too loudly on your cellphone, while on the omnibus.)
"The woman with a pet ailment"
"Men like a girl who is slow and soft in her speech. They dislike the girl who is the least bit rapid in her manner or speech. They may talk to her, flirt with her perhaps, but in their heart she is disliked."
To the Girl in Love
"The way to bore your friends is by constantly quoting what "he"says or thinks." (Funny how some things always stay the same, lol)
"Don't wear only the colours which "he" pronounces the most becoming, if they make you look a fright."
"Don't strive to make your younger sister jealous occasionally." (Something to keep in mind for the future.)
"Don't neglect the housework because you're in love."
The Appropriate Length of Courtship
"The longer the wooing, the better the contracting parties know each other; while the shorter is vice versa. Of course there is such a thing as carrying things to extremes, and a courtship which is too long is apt to be wearisome."
How to Choose a Sweetheart (again, I will transcribe all that they have to say on this subject. Seems pretty important to me.)
"First of all, respect yourself, then you will win respect."
"Love is blind, but marriage is a capital eye-opener."
"All have love, but few know how to use it right."
"Very dark or very light complexion persons should marry one with medium complexion." (and up until this point I was thinking how their proclamations were basically standing the test of time.)
"Very tall or very short persons should marry one medium built."
"Never marry extreme opposites or where there is too much sameness." (ahh, and now we get back to some legitimately good advice.)
"Never marry just for money or position or you may live to regret it."
"In choosing a wife see that she can mend a dress and cook a dinner." (Success on both parts! You're welcome mankind.)
"In choosing a husband see that he is kind to his mother and sisters." (Seriously - that is very good advice. I was literally thinking that very thing to myself just a couple days ago. Don't know why I thought about it in the first place though....)
"Keep your mind and eye upon those you love or care for."
"Don't talk too much in the presence of those you love; at times silence is golden."
"In conversation don't talk too much of 'Self'."
"Before getting married, send the Photo or Handwriting of your Sweetheart, to the address on the cover of this book, and find out if you are suited to each other." (How weird! But just in case you want to, here's the address: " Address all letters to - "Madame" 122, Railway Terrace, Padiham." Hello return to sender no zip code or state!)
That basically concludes all that this most useful pamphlet has to say on the subject of courtship. Now to discuss! And if you're interested in seeing ALL that this pamphlet has to say on the subject, feel free to book an appointment with me and I will allow you to peruse it at your leisure. Appointments are for 15 minutes, if you anticipate taking longer, please sign up for multiple time slots to avoid overbooking! Thank you.
Next week: Marriage.
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