Book Review: "The Story-Teller" by SAKI

I know what you're thinking: 'Saki? Is that like sake? C'mon, Casey, how does rice wine write a book?' Well, all I can say to that is (a) That sounds like a bad popsicle joke, and (b) don't be ridiculous. It doesn't.
Hector Hugh Munro, however, (best known by his pen name 'Saki') can most certainly write a book, and he does it well to boot. No joke.

"The Story-Teller" is a collection of thirteen short stories, all but one of which use children as the central characters. Yes, children. Turned-off? Not keen on the bubble-gum, Disney-pop-morality and charm that typically accompany youths in literature? Don't be fooled. Burmese-born Saki uses juveniles to fuel daringly dark comedy vignettes that range from the self-proclaimed 'improper story' in the book's title tale "The Story-Tellers"  to the downright sinister "Sredni Vashtar."

Saki, a.k.a. Hector Hugh Munro

                                              

For a small taste of Saki's style check out one of the included stories, "The Toys of Peace," on iTunes under the Weekly Short Stories from Librivox podcast (keyword Librivox). You can also check out other stories in the public domain at the Librivox website at http://librivox.org/

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Event Update: Lawn Sport Olympics

Quick update on the lawn sport olympics:
I was unfortunetly unable to find a croquet set (because I waited too long and now don't think it'll arrive in time). So, that event is scrapped until next years Lawn Sport Olympics (because unlike the lame Olympics we will have ours annually). So now the events are Bocce Ball, Badminton, and Horseshoes. Still sounds totally awesome, I know. Hope everyone is getting geered up and is putting some quality thought into their outfit (don't forget there will be wardrobe awards as well). See everyone soon! Read More......

The month of August Books.

So if anyone is interested Casey and I went and bought our books for August. August is Non-fiction month. We had planned on reading two of the "Very Short Introduction" books, but there weren't any at the Borders we went to so we just got some other ones instead. They seem like very interesting reads and if anyone wants to join us, please do!

First of all, we bought three books. But there is only one that is the Official Salon Book of August. The other two can be read at your leisure, or not at all if you really don't want to. (Although I definitely plan on reading all three as soon as possible). So the official non-fiction book of August is: Deluxe: How Luxury Lost Its Luster by Dana Thomas.


The other two books are : Nonviolence: The History of a Dangerous Idea by Mark Kurlansky and This is Your Brain on Music: The Science of a Human Obsession by Daniel J. Levitin



So hopefully someone is intrigued enough by one or all of these titles to feel compelled to join us. Happy reading in the month of August! Read More......

Teeth Whitening: Update

As you may know, I had embarked on a quest toward whiter teeth a week ago or so. I wanted to give an update on the situation- the results have been delayed due to illness. I have been unable to use my teeth whitening strips because of pain in my lower tooth- they did seem to be working, and I personally think my teeth look quite nice.

I will continue the treatment after I have may a full recovery from being ill- and THEN I will update. I only hope I haven't ruined the validity of the experiment by not completing it all at once- although, I feel I have. Read More......

State of the Blog Address

I just wanted to congratulate the contributers of this blog for really stepping up our efforts for the month of July. So far, not including this entry, we already have Nineteen! entries. I just think that that much input into the blog is wonderful. That's more entries than ever for one month and July is not yet even over. So keep it up everybody. And here's a great big pat on the back for all of us. Read More......

It's Going to Be a Thing : Back to School

Becky and I have been on a school uniform kick recently. Lately we've seen all of the school uniform clothes out and about, and it really got us thinking. Maybe we really missed out by not having to wear a uniform back when we were in middle and high school. Uniforms are just so sharp and well put together. I think it's pretty hard to look bad in a school uniform, although I'm sure it's possible. Maybe even having to wear school uniforms would have lessened the awkwardness of of those embarassing awkward years. We obviously didn't know how to choose flattering clothes, so maybe we would have looked better if we weren't left to our own devices. And if not, then at least we all would have looked like crap on the same level. So I started saying as a joke that I should have just worn a school uniform to school anyway even though we didn't have to. Would that have just made me super weird if I had done that? Probably. But then it stopped being a joke and I started seriously thinking - I could still do it if I really wanted to! So not only is this a "It's Going to Be a Thing" entry, this is a call to arms! Let's bring the school uniform to college! The new Urban Outfitters clothes are really inspiring to me in the "school uniform" respect, so for uniformity's (haha- I'm hilarious) sake, all of my inspirational pictures will be from them. (except for the one of the kids - obviously).




For any school uniform there is a list of basics that are absolutely required to put together any sort of respectable looking outfit. Here's my Top Ten (plus One for good measure) list of what you would need to have the most kick-"a" school uniform in college.

1. Cardigan



2. Blazer



3. Skirt



4. Suspendered Skirt and/or Jumper


5. Button Up Shirt


6. Khaki Shorts


7. Oxfords or Loafers



8. Backpack



9. Glasses for the more Studious Crowd



10. Belts


11. Hat


Looking a little deeper into the look - Steven Alan has designed this really great line called Lark and Wolff that is being sold at Urban Outfitters. I am seriously into his stuff right now and alot of his pieces would work perfectly with this look. Here is a link to a video interview that Urban Outfitters did with him. It's a really interesting video and you should totally go look if you're interested.
http://blog.urbanoutfitters.com/projects/lark_and_wolff/

Now there is so much more that could go on here. I didn't even get into sweaters, vests, ties, tights/socks, or watches. There are so many great pieces that go into a really good uniform. And keep in mind that plaids, knits, twills, navy blue, burgundy, and khaki are the key ingredients to the school uniform look. Really the key here is looking classic and put together. But of course, with any REALLY great school uniform, you have to try and break the rules a little bit and make it your own. So who's going to join me in bringing back the school uniform to the collegiate crowd?
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My go-to Romance Novel Site has proven themselves.

So I just went to my regular Romance Novel Site to check out what was going on, and I was very pleased to see that in their weekly writing post they discussed The Portable Dorothy Parker. As that was one of our books this year, I was very interested to see what they had to say. Here's a link to the article. I figured I should post it since it pertains to our book club.

http://www.likesbooks.com/atbfnew.html

ALSO, I just downloaded a couple songs from the new Carla Bruni album. I really like them a lot. Carla Bruni just has an incredible voice and if I could speak french fluently I imagine that her songs would be very singable, and those are my favorite kinds of songs. This new Carla Bruni album is just interesting in a lot of ways. Not only does it seem to be a really good album, how interesting is it that the first lady of France has put out an album?! What would Laura Bush's album be like if she put one out? How incendiary would that be if she did?! More importantly, what would our future first lady, Michelle Obama's album be like? Basically, I kind of think that Carla Bruni is a badass. And she is without a doubt the best dressed politician's wife of our time. Although Michelle Obama is really doin us proud in the U.S. Read More......

Happy National Junk Food Day!

The Lady, some of you may know her as Casey's mom, has recently incurred a weighty obsession with food magazines. Needless to say, I have been infected by her enthusiasm and think we ought to demonstrate a greater reverance for what we whet our palates with. And what better place to start at than the bottom? Yes, the ordure of the food world, the most contestible comestibles: Junk Food. Well today's the day.

Although the origins of this gluttonous holiday are, to me at least, unknown; it seems to be overwhelmingly understood in the online world that July 21st is junk food day. Yes, junk food a.k.a. the high calorie, high sodium, high sucrose, minimum nutritive value victuals that we eat more often than not with impudent guilt. "I know this is terrible for me," we blushingly declare, "but I just can't help it. It's too good!" But why is junk food such a notable element in today's diets?
The word 'junk food' has its origins in the 1970s. A young term, this leaves the question of whether or not we discovered the notion of junk food through our increased chemical and medical awareness of nutritive value, or whether it resulted from a culture that foolishly invented the plaguing substances. It is my proposal that you consider the paradox of simultaneously discovering and producing "junk" while you chow down on your favorite low-quality provisions. Eat up!

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Trial Period: Teeth Whiteners

I, Glynnis M. Holt, have decided to try out a new product for the better good of all masses. So that you, humble reader, do not have to use this product if it doesn't actually work--the product is this: Target Advanced Whitening Wraps, the 7 Day Dental Whitening System...now, I will admit my curiousity in whitening strips has been heightened lately, it's not that I feel my teeth are particularly stained, but! But I watched the commercial with a giant tooth that gets stained from just wear and tear of time and thought to myself- perhaps my teeth are not at their full pearly-white goodness. So, for the next seven days, I will document- or at least, I'll comment now and at the very end...

The product is simple enough to use. Peel the strips and place them on your teeth- craftily labeled as both "UPPER TEETH" and "LOWER TEETH". The directions say you must use the product twice a day for 30 minutes each time. That's an hour a day- which, is a bit extreme, yet I'm willing to do it in the pursuit of beauty.

My only complaint thus far is that I felt like a dork wearing it and there was an excess of saliva produced- the taste of the strips was remininscent of a dentist office (go figure). Yet, after using it just once so far I already feel there's a visible difference. Sure, I may be imagining this, but whatever. We shall see how this trial goes!

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A Lesson in Beards

After the WILD success of my lesson in moustaches, I feel compelled to continue with the facial hair theme. The public demands it! What can I do but choose to please? (Maybe by "the public" I mostly mean myself - I just can't get enough facial hair! And I'm not sorry about it.) So to get us started - per request of Glynnis (not like I would EVER disagree to posting this) - I will post this picture of a dearly beloved beard. Just a little something to get the facial hair juices flowing, ease you into the bearded bliss that will follow.


Mmm yes, we all like beards don't we?


Now, onto the beards! This time I think I will categorize the facial hair from most restrained, to most unrestrained.

So here we begin with "The Al Borland"

This beard is categorized by its particularly tidy appearance. Notice the razor edge precision of this beard - an owner of "The Al" obviously shaves once a day (or more!) to keep up the precise outline of this beard. Also note the uniform length of every inch of this beard - to me "The Al" resembles a freshly mowed lawn - one that is taken care of by a lawn crew. Continuing with the lawn theme - notice how even the consistency of this specimen is - no patches. One can see the resemblence between this beard and a lawn of newly laid sod. Sweet perfection

Next, we move onto "The Gorton Fisherman" aka "The New Englander "

This beard is a little bit fuller then the "Al", but just as sturdy. Famously worn by Ernest Hemingway, "The New Englander" sometimes hosts the peculiarity of having slightly fuller patches at the angles of the jaw. Hard to describe - but I'm sure you know what I mean.

Next up - The Abe Lincoln "Chin Curtain".

As well as being THE FIRST beard ever worn by an American President, this particular beard style is very common amongst the Amish. What a historical goldmine this style is. Characterized by a lack of moustache and the containment of the beard to the chin and underside of the jaw line, this beard is not very popular in mainstream, modern America. I wonder why that is?

Speaking of beards not popular in mainstream, modern America; feast your eyes on this puppy.

That's right - it's 'THE ZEUS". Tightly curled, neatly styled, and with a 'do to match it this beard is a whammy. I await the day I see this one roaming the streets with bated breath. But maybe there's a reason that it's usually only worn by the Gods. Just maybe. This is a beauty that us mere mortals cannot fully comprehend.

Our next beard takes us from the Heavens to the Ocean.

Ah "The Triton". This formidable beard-moustache combo needs the assistance of only the most devoted beard lovers to ensure it's existence. How many years do you think it would take to grow a beard that long, with a moustahce long enough to get lost in it?

This beard is another one where only the most devoted (or the most negligent) need apply.

The "ZZ Top", also known as "The Hobo" or "The Tramp", can range from scraggly and long, to full and long - but either way you've got to have the long part goin on. In this case you're either trying to make a statement, or you've just been so busy catching rail cars and working for food that it's somehow slipped your mind to make it to the hobo barber (I'm pretty sure they do exist. At hobo camps.)

Our last beard honestly scares the shit out of me a little. Who knows why.

Just because some individuals want to take the time to hand guide the growth of their beard into "The Forker", doesn't mean that it should be so scary. But somehow it is.

Well, that concludes my post on beards. To finish off this post, I wish to both make a tribute to How I Met Your Mother for their innovation in the beard world, and include a completely gratuitous picture of Ted Mosby/Josh Radnor (because he may be cute regularly, but he's even more so with a beard). I present to you all "The Break Up Beard"

Oh Ted, if we dated, you would NEVER have to grow this beard unless you wanted to. Obviously because we would NEVER break up, and not in a creepy stalkerish "I wouldn't allow it" kind of way, but because our lives would be so filled with joy and harmony that it would never be required. You would only need to grow a beard, or any kind of facial hair really, if you wanted to - and heaven knows I would encourage it.
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Book Review: Notes From a Small Island

     Let’s say you happen to be traipsing about in your local bookstore and you chance upon a little novel pressed in among the rest but this one, in its glorious good luck, catches your eye. You pick it up, give it a flip, and begin perusing the story summary on the back. This book, you read, is about a middle-aged man named Bill. So far so good, eh? Bill, it seems, is about to move back to his hometown in Iowa after living twenty years in England. Intriguing still.   And (bless your soul there’s more!) Bill has set his heart upon a six-week journey through the vast countryside of his expatriate homeland—trains, taxis, and hiking galore—before leaving for The States. Certainly a fine foundation! This must be a delightful tale of a man in love with a country: its people, its land, and even its faults. Yes, this is a fine book indeed. The only problem is that no such book exists, only a slatternly substitution: “Notes.”

       Notes From a Small Island, you see, is not Bill Bryson’s adoring though unflinching look at the country he called home for twenty years, so much as it is the journal of an arrogant American prick who finds it his right to dismiss train-loving old men, harp on hoteliers because they do not meet his own schedule, and insult young fast-food workers as a cure to his own poor mood. Do you doubt it? I’ll admit there are other scenes besides, of course. When Mr. Bryson isn’t criticizing his fellow citizens, he’s harping ceaselessly on the inadequacy of his surroundings, most notably the architecture, saying generally that the English seem too thick skulled to understand what makes their townships beautiful as they seem to erect only buildings that Mr. Bryson deems unworthy and eye-sores. And somehow (I say somehow because the fact weighs overwhelmingly on my stores of faith to believe it) the English people have voted this book the most representative of England in 2003 according to the BBC News. Perhaps it is their English courtesy that allows them to so graciously overlook Mr. Bryson’s haughty disdain.  

Overall: C -- Funny and mildly informative if you can avoid imagining having to endure so much as a meal with its author.

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Twilight update.

Ok, I just have to say that with the passing of another day and the beginning of a new book, Twilight has been increasingly on my mind. Maybe I'm starting to understand the hype a little more. Like a fine wine, Twilight's bouquet, if you will, seems to grow more alluring as time passes. With each passing chapter in the book I just started, I keep thinking, "I kind of wish I was reading the next Twilight book instead". Now don't get me wrong - all of the things that irked me still stand, and it's grade definitely still stands as a B+. But there is just something about that book that is staying in my mind. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that for two days the majority of my hours was spent in this alternate world and now I'm going through a little bit of withdrawal. Ok - that is TOTALLY it. I've uncovered the secret. This book compels you to read it quickly, and then, like any good heroin addict who has just experienced some crazy two day mind-altering high, the return back to normal life leaves you twitchy and nervous. Until you can get your next fix. I am SO going to finish you Notes on a Small Island in a matter of days so I can get my next fix! Well, I've just revealed myself as an addict to reading. That's embarassing.

I'm not quite sure if this deserved it's own salon post, and I very well may just delete this in a couple of days, but I thought it was an interesting development and should be reported for everyone's short term benefit. Read More......

Guilty Pleasures

Guilty pleasures and I get along so well. Whether it be the sappy love ballad by Shania Twain or that double-stuffed oreo cookie dipped into milk. We get along. Here, though, is what grinds my gears about guilty pleasures...


Why do they have to be considered guilty? Why do I have to pretend to be ashamed(a-sham-ed) of sappy love ballads by Shania Twain, The Carpenters, Celine Dion, and Bryan Adams?

What's so bad about wanting to spend a day in bed reading a romance novel instead of a "literary classic" or a "Oprah recommended" novel? Although, as far as the whole Oprah thing goes, I feel that she actually places a stigma on really great novels. I appreciate what she has done for the literacy rates of the world, but come on, does she really have to put a STICKER on the cover? Whatever, Oprah. Whatever.

My pondering has lead to this main question: what defines a "guilty pleasure"? They're different for everyone, let's say that beefy Harley Davidson Motorcycle-riding man won't necessarily admit to enjoying knitting, but why are there certain things which all society views as a taboo thing to like? What do you consider a guilty pleasure and what can we do to erase the awkwardness associated with them? Or, are guilty pleasures actually serving a purpose? Do they maintain a level of privacy that is needed in our secret-less society? Are guilty pleasures providing innocence that we cannot otherwise have? I'm not sure. I just know that I want to be able to listen to my music, read my books, and eat my oreo cookies without being laughed at. Is that too much to ask?!
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Book Review: Stephenie Meyer's Twilight - Cutting Through the Hype

So I don't know about you guys, but I have heard a lot recently about this "Twilight" series. I've even heard it being harkened as the new "Harry Potter" series. People are seriously obsessed with these books. Doubt me? Just type in Twilight in Google and you'll see what I mean. With the first movie harkening, and the fourth book about to come out in just 17 days (with midnight releases planned at a bookstore near you), Twilight mania seems to be all around us. So I wanted to read this book and see what's up? Will this book live up to it's hype?


I have slavishly applied myself to reading this book, all 498 pages, in two days, just so I can cut through this hype as quickly as possible. All for you guys. I'm selfless like that. So was it the new Harry Potter? Did it live up to all of it's hype???


Ok, for me this book was enjoyable (enough so where I had no problem finishing it in two days despite it's length), but not so enjoyable that I feel like I just HAVE to get started on the next one to see what happens next. I will break down for you all why this is so in two different lists (since girls love lists and all).

Lived up to the Hype:
-Plot kept you wanting to keep reading without just shamelessly TRYING to hook you into the next chapter
-Well developed characters; likable for the most part.
-Well thought out, and interesting fantasy world. Or IS it fantasy??? :)
-It FINALLY made me understand why the whole vampire thing is so hot to some people.

Didn't Live up to the Hype:
-Romance TOO intense! I would have been like - get me out of this! Too much pressure!
-FINE, I get it - Edward is really beautiful.
-Edward actually a little creepy to me. Yes I am aware he is a vampire, but that's not why. Where I feel that most teenage girls reading this are going "Why won't someone do that for me?", I am going - whoa Dude, I think you maybe slipped into crazy-ville with that one. I don't want to give anything away, so let's just say that he went a little TOO far in his desire to want to be with her all the time. Did I just give it away a little? Oh well.
-COME ON, just give into her wish. I don't know why you wouldn't. I think you have unrealstic expectations for your "love" otherwise!!! Whatever.

So was it the new Harry Potter? Heck no. Harry Potter had better characters (Yes Ron - you), a more compelling fantasy world, and much more detailed and intricate plot lines. With Harry Potter you could stay up for HOURS just speculating and reading into passages and things that people said trying to decode what they really meant. Nothing was written into those books without it having a purpose. Twilight lacks that same kind of purposefulness - but then I don't really expect that from most books. Whereas Harry Potter is genius, Twilight was just an enjoyable book, and there is nothing wrong with that.

If you want a quick, fun, escapist novel - this would be a good book for you. Especially if you have a proclivity towards vampire books (there were some really...tense... scenes that were rather enjoyable.) I will definitely be reading the rest of the series, but I won't be rushing to do so. If my sister didn't own them all already, it would probably take me awhile to get to them, because I definitely wouldn't be going out to buy them myself. But I most definitely WILL be going to see the movie when it comes out (don't expect me to be seeing it first day though. Unless Becky makes me go with her first day.)

Overall, I give it a solid B+.
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Lists. Girls like them.

It's summer, right? Then it doesn't fit that we're all working and going through the motions of "becoming grown-ups". What happened to our summers of youth? What happened to days at the pool, Flintstones Push-Ups, and the sweet smell of sun-tan lotion permeating your skin? Have we all really started to grow up? Well, I refuse to! Even though there are the stresses of the real world: school and working and money and such...I embrace the simple joys of summer. I want you to take my word of this...



Summer is about a sense of laziness but still accomplishing something at the same time. Small goals. I tell you, these are my keys to summer happiness even whilst wanting to go back in time and re-live summers of yore (oh, where is a deLorian and Doc Brown?)...

1. Fruit Salad- plus, the antioxidants will boost metabolism and energy levels- you can fight those nasty summer bugs going about.

2. Beachy Scented Body Wash- currently I enjoy things with a coconut-y scent to them...

3. Summer Dresses: bright colors make for a brighter day!

4. Chill/Peppy Music: Belle & Sebastian, Jason Mraz, Dave Matthews Band, Mae, Beach Boys...you may be on your way to work, but it doesn't need to feel like that! Pretend you're going somewhere cooler instead!

5.Magazines. The guilty pleasure type. Read that OK! magazine, you know you want to.

6. Freezer Pops. The kind that come in plastic and are liquid- nothing'll take you back to a summer party in 4th grade quicker.

7. Christmas Movies. Yes, this seems counter-productive, but we're in July now and technically only 6 months away from Christmas. Plus, watching all that snow will make you thankful for our heat and humidity.

8. The Golden Hour. This is probably my personal favorite part of summertime. The Golden Hour is in the dusk and it's when everything takes on that yellow-golden hue. So beautiful and it's hopeful and delightful...one can remember the words of Robert Frost:

"Nature’s first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf’s a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf,
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day
Nothing gold can stay."

9. Planning events. Because who doesn't enjoy dreaming about the future?

AND DRUMROLL PLEASE: The best of the summer...

10. The moments when you realize everything is quaint and lovely. Watching fireflies flit about, the smell of after a rainstorm, and the knowledge that we are in one of the best times of our lives and each of these days is precious. Read More......

Book Review: The Secret Life of Bees

I hate blog cuts. I just wanted to say that first. If you're curious why it looks like there are two posts on this book review its blog cuts' fault. I think i'm going to need a tutorial on them in person. But until then I;m just gonna post this review the old fashioned style.

Alright, so I know that this book isn't on the reading list but I thought it was worthy of a review on the blog anyway. Plus, we could just count it as being for August sence august is "Made into a movie month". So anyway, this book was really surprisingly good. It was a short read but packed with inciteful comments on life and regrets and all kinds of things that people struggle with. Despite a main character which I think is at times a difficult one to really love, this book's supporting characters are alive with mystery and then depth. They move the story alonf just as much as the main character does. If you want to read more do so . . . .
First off, i just want to say that this book is good because it didn't drone on and on for hundreds of pages. It packed lots of wisdom and learning into a fairly short read which i like. But it wasn't too fluffy which these sort of books can sometimes be. The main character was this girl who seems truly sad at first and then she goes through these things that happen and adapts and you can feel her actually growing more mature and grown up as the book progresses. A big theme with this book is motherhood (believe me, it's not really a hidden theme. In fact its pretty much spelled out in the last few pages). It was very touching because this girl's mother died because of a very stressful event that occurred and how she deals with that is fascinating. Also, all of her replacement mothers are such wonderful characters. They are so mysterious at first and then develop such depth. Its remarkable.
Secondly, there was a little bit of a romance which ensues that I completely loved. And it kept me really interested in the girl at a time when I could have begun to think her a tidge whiny.
Lastly, I thought this book was a very powerful story of southern racial integration. There are so many happenings that are driven by race. Another main theme of the novel is how black and white people have to learn to live together (spoiler alert!!! there's a romance between the girl and a black boy).
Lastly lastly, I also loved how the women come up with their own brand of spiritualism. Mainly because it was based on the Virgin's story and involved many aspects form Catholicism that I loved the most. It was a little weird at times but I loved it anyway. And you'll love this book if you read it. It really will make you look at motherhood, spiritualism, and racial issues in a whole new way. If anyone wants to borrow my copy, they certainly can.

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A Lesson in Moustaches

So Glynnis and I went and got a little lunch at Fellini's today, and while we were waiting for our food, I couldn't help but notice that ESPN - the channel Fellini's invariably always turns their tvs to - was ACTUALLY showing something interesting! They were talking about Giambi and his statistics with and without a moustache. I'm guessing that he's doing better with - I wasn't actually listening. But it was really great because then they just kept showing all these people with moustaches! They were even interviewing this man who looked like a doctor, but he had this great moustache and a bow tie on. He had to have been a joke, but still, it was great. And you all know my great love of facial hair, so I was particularly intrigued, and inspired by this story. I will provide the link to the original ESPN story here, just in case anyone is interested (We've mentioned broadening our horizons here and I have to say that I don't think ESPN is a subject I have ever touched on). So here's the link and a little teaser picture that I particularly liked of the baseball player Rollie Fingers that they kept using on the ESPN program:

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/clubhouse?team=nyy (go the video entitled "Mustachioed Masses Supporting Jason Giambi")


And now, after the cut, my own little review on moustaches - if you so please. Just indulge me.


So there are many varieties of moustaches nowadays, some good, and some not so good. I will begin by discussing "moustache dos", and for my first moustache, I want to reach back into the great and proud history of moustaches to feature "The Civil War Moustache."

This hard-hitter, most famously sported in the Civil War by the Union Army's General Ambrose Burnside, is unfortunately not seen very often nowadays. I'm not sure why or when it fell out of popularity, but I'm guessing it takes a man with a certain amount of confidence to sport this one. Interesting fact - as General Burnside was a very popular man, with very distinctive facial hair, this particular 'stache came to be known as the "burnside", which later morphed into the word "sideburns". So we can thank this great man for those marvelous specimens, perhaps my favorite, of follicular ornamentry.

For the next moustache "do", I take you all to Post-Modern Europe where we will meet a man who also has a moustache named for him. This is of course Salvador Dali.

I may not particularly mesh with his art, but with his moustache I cannot find fault. Truly an innovator in both his artwork AND his facial hair, this man took the handlebar moustache and went all kinds of crazy with it. I applaud you Mr. Dali. May someone find inspiration in your upper lip and find the balls to try and work that themselves. THAT would truly be a sight to see.

Now we're traveling not quite so far back in moustache history, but to a destination no less proud. That fine destination being of course to Tom Selleck's vermillion (yes, I looked it up, that is the proper name for upper lip. I had just used the word "upper lip" a little while ago so I didn't want to sound repetitive.).

Look at that fine specimen. So thick, so unapologetic, so masculine. Yes, it's been a while since we've seen the likes of the this fine beast, but I think it should make a comeback. I'll spare you all the "It's Going to be a Thing: Tom Selleck Edition" post.

For my final Moustache "Do" I give you the most recent fashion in moustaches. Often referred to nowadays as the "molestache", this bastard child of the thick and meaty "Tom Selleck" and the smaller, more unassuming "Clark Gable", is best exemplified by Kip Dynamite.

Yes, it's the perfect mix of unapologetic and refinement, with just a touch of the Hulk Hogan/Biker handlebar thrown in.

Now even I, a self-proclaimed lover of facial hair, can own that not all kinds of moustaches are flattering or should be attempted. So for your perusal, I offer you a few Moustache "DONTS", arranged chronologically from oldest to newest.


The toothbrush. Just don't do it.


The "pornstache". Unlike it's close cousin the "molestache" who JUST narrowly avoids this fate, the pornstache somehow has just a little bit too much skeeze to be palatable.

And finally...

Josh Hartnett is a very, very.... very attractive man. But I cannot forgive his VOLUNTARILY (I assume) sporting the "just hit puberty peach fuzz" look. It doesn't work in middle or high school, and it definitely does not work on a man of his age. If you can't grow it, don't do it. Simple as that.

And that, ladies, is my humble presentation on moustaches through the ages. I wish I could have featured more, particularly the "Clark Gable" - there's a moustache I can sink my teeth into. But alas, there is only so much time, so much blog space, and so much I feel like I can subject you to humanely, before I know just have to limit myself. Perhaps another day, in "A Lesson in Moustaches: Part Deux." We can only hope. Adieu!
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Book Review: Jack Kerouac's On The Road

So what can I say about On The Road? I feel like this book slapped me in the face and I don't really know WHAT to say about it. For this before the cut section, I guess I'll just stick with posting this picture of the REAL Sal Paradise and Dean Moriarty (Jack Kerouac - pictured on the right, and his friend Neal Cassady - on the left)


This may be shallow of me, but it will make sense after reading the book - I was very pleased to see in my internet searching that both Jack Kerouac and Dean Casssady are extremely good-looking men. If they hadn't been then I think the book just wouldn't have been as good. That's bad of me to think... Oh well


But seriously, which as much carousing around and slutting it up as these two dudes did in the book, I would have found it much less believable if they were ugly. Also, I guess it makes their whole hobo lifestyle more glamourous. And finally, as sad as it is, it is so much easier to forgive an attractive person for the kinds of moral indiscretions that these guys partake in in this book. SO enough about their real life attractiveness and onto the book.

This book was really perfect to read for a summer traveling theme as it featured both adjectives in an abundance. I had been experiencing some extreme lust for the hobo lifestyle recently - who knows why, I sure don't - so reading this book was a real way to indulge in living the lifestyle without having to actually do it. And seriously, after this book, I think I really wouldn't want to. The unstable lifestyle they lead in this book is certainly not one I could tolerate. It was a real treat to experience through literature though. It is things like this that I think literature are for. I was able to live out a secret desire of mine through a book and that's a real beautiful thing.

On the other hand, I can One Hundred Percent see how this book could become a sort of ambulatory, beat bible for someone who was so inclined to actually go through with their hobo desires. This book isn't the keystone of the beat generation for nothing. But not only was this book a great educational lesson into the beat life, it was a really interesting examination into the nature of friendships and the self as well. Also I enjoyed reading this reflection of America from the 1940's. It kind of takes you back to America's past glory and reminds you why this actually used to be an inspiring country. It makes me wish I could experience America in that way, but the book leaves me feeling that maybe I still could. I don't know.

All in all, I think that this book lived up to it's hype for me. It had an interesting plot, multi-dimensional characters, an interesting experimental writing style - which I think added to the beat feeling of the book. The writing style was a little distracting at first, but in the end the frantic, confused sentences are necessary to really FEEL the beat lifestyle.

My only beef with this book is that all of the events and characters are based on real events and people. I even found a list on wikipedia that said the character name and who it actually was. In a way this is really cool, but at the same time, I spent so much time in the book trying to figure out who was actually who that I couldn't just forget about it and pretend that it was all fictional. I really shouldn't have read the introduction to the book first in this case. It messed me up too much. So I guess that's all really. What did you think??
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DuhNuh NuhNuh NuhNuh NuhNuh BATMAN!

Salon event anyone?   Read More......

Book Review: Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy

How does one start with a schoolmaster and a young boy, and end with two women looking into a grave? Surely someone can make sense of how this education-laden image begets yet another one of Hardy’s gender themed novels.  Surely, though I am not the one.

While I did enjoy Jude the Obscure—it was what any good Hardy reader expects with its grand eye for social commentary and melodramatic tragedy—I can’t help seeing the discrepancy between intention and product.  Where Hardy fails to write the story he seems to have desired, he succeeds in instilling this pursuit in the very essence of the work.  It is a book about failure, and it is one. 

Correct me if I’m wrong but I believe that this work was supposed to be about a boy’s attempt to join the ranks of scholars.  Is the point, then, that women are the disruption of this aim?  I don’t recall any inclusion of the alternative, the scholars at Christminster touting their sexlessness around town.  No, I think the problem was that his story about a boy reading all the time was boring.  So he changed it.  Jude couldn’t get anywhere because he never did anything truly productive, and Hardy couldn’t keep telling the story of some guy with his nose buried in books that was bound to go nowhere.  That story was shelved for the more “interesting” aspects of Jude’s history, the moments when he made choices and mistakes.  When he instigated and struggled and interacted.  Therefore, if one looks deeply enough, there lies a theme more thought provoking than the more obvious “What is love in the eyes of God and man?” and  “Do we serve our God if we serve societies mores and superstitions?”  This theme is: why do we read these ‘classics’ at all? 

Yes my fellow book-loving-bloggers, why are we here?  Do we read with a sort of hero worship as Jude read to find his mentor Mr. Phillotson?  Do we read to better ourselves?  To find greatness?  If the later is the case than keep in mind the lessons learned by Jude:  to follow, no matter how diligently, is not a life but a characterization.  If you want your efforts to be your story, than pave the way yourself.  Find what it is that makes your efforts productive, and not just a chauvinistic rehashing of written words.  Don’t fall to Jude’s frenzied, drunken quote-ranting.  Don’t let yourself be led into more “interesting” territory.  Don’t be scared into thoughts of mores and love, grand themes with little else but lazy controversy.  Read, and thereby create. Invent. Formulate. Discover. Devise. 

Forgive the sermon, but when I first went to review this work, I found myself tempted to read the word of others. I needed to know if I’d caught all the themes, and knew which scenes were praised and which were trivialized.  I needed my opinion handed to me.  How scary is that?  Though, by the way, I thought the book was grand when Hardy stopped digging his heels and allowed his talents to shine in all of their grotesque über-tragedy glory.  Thumbs up.  Gold stars.  Smiley faces and high fives.  There’s my review and I’m sticking to it. Amen.

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Salon Event?

Ok, so Glynnis and I were just checking up on what movies they will be showing at the Fox Theatre for the Coca-Cola film festival for the rest of the summer. Here's what it looks like - On July 13 they will be showing Enchanted at 2:00 and then also on July 13 they will be showing Ben-Hur, along with a wine tasting (all for $10) at 7:00. So we are both interested in going to see one of these movies, but we could see the pros and cons for both.

Enchanted: PROS: Good Movie, Good to sing-along to, Patrick Dempsey and James Marsden
CONS: A lot of kids

Ben-Hur: PROS: Wine Tasting, Classic Movie, Charelton Heston's smooth acting skills.. and chest.
CONS: LONG movie in pretty uncomfortable chairs.

So we put it to the public. Would you guys be able to come, and if so, which movie would you prefer? Majority rules. No Pressure. Read More......

Blog cuts and more inspiration! And a test of sorts.

I THINK I may have figured out how to do a blog cut on our posts. So it took me a while to figure this out, and a few tries in editing the html of the blog layout, but I think that this is the best option for what we want out of a blog cut. So here's the deal - when you go to post a new post on the blog, you will notice some new text that is already in the box where you would normally type your entry. Where it says "Type your summary here" - you just replace that line with all of the text and pictures that you want to show on the regular blog. Where it says "Type rest of the post here" - is where you type all of the text and pictures that you want to appear in the cut. Just make sure not to delete any of the stuff in brackets and keep the bracketed lines where they are.

So if you DON'T want your post to have a cut, then just delete everything that's in the posting box when you go to write a new post so that the posting box is just blank like it would have been before, and just post like you normally would.

I hope I'm explaining all of this clearly - it might be a little confusing. If you're confused about anything, then just ask. I'm going to test this out a little with this post to see if it all works etc. So hopefully I'll know any answers to any questions you guys might have.

So, now that I've posted all of this technical stuff, here are some early 1900's sportswear looks that I find to be extremely inspirational whilst deciding what to wear for the lawn sport olympics - after the cut! (I hope! lol)








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