Fashion Don'ts and Grievances (click the read more to see all of it)

Lately, I find myself having issues with articles of clothing I see all around me. I'm not certain if this is due to the proximity I live to Atlanta- the city where, seemingly, anything you wear goes...BUT I have GOT to say my piece on these...pieces. I can't keep quite about them any longer! Today I had my window down and was on the phone and actually said- loud enough to be heard- "Your dress is terrible!" Oops...but, in my defense, her dress WAS terrible. I will now display some of the fashion faux pas I've seen. Otherwise I'm going to throw down on someone.


Article A. The Fanny Pack/Manny Pack
I have a lot of built up frustration towards Fanny Packs after working at the capital of them. Oh, that's right people- we had games where we counted the number you would see during the course of a day. And the elusive Manny Pack (a fanny pack toted by the husband or man) was worth more points... Yes, I realize fanny packs serve the purpose of freeing up those hands for things like a churro and a coke that you simply MUST carry with you. I understand that you need to put your wallet and cell phone into a pack instead of just carrying, let's say...a purse or a bookbag or even *gasp* just putting said items into the pockets. I don't know what's worse, though...the articles of clothing fanny packs tend to be paired with or the horrible general fashion sense of the people (victims?) wearing them. To fanny packs, I say, BE GONE.

Article B. Sequined Items

Yes. I agree that sequined dresses and shirts can serve a purpose- let's say you're going out to that hot new club downtown for the weekend and you want to wear an outfit that says, "LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! EVERYONE NOTICE ME!" then sequins are great. You'll definitely grab a lot of attention as every spotlight shines on you and you instantaneously blind all the people surrounding you. Which, come to think of it, sort of goes against the point of said attention-whore outfit. Yet, this is not my main problem with sequined outfits. My main issue is the crunching sound they make. I hate it! It grates on my nerves like nails scratching down a chalkboard, a knife scraping on a plate, or a dentist spit sucker that makes that weird "quuuuuuuooooo" sound...yuck! I'm going to put the rule out there: if your clothes make a sound, you probably shouldn't be wearing them. (Exception of tasteful corduroy)Article C. Tennis Shoes with Dresses

I know, I know what you're thinking. No! No one actually wears tennis shoes and socks with dresses anymore! Especially not with a suitdress! But, alas, dear readers- I have seen this trend more than once in the past week. It was startling. I felt for a moment that I had stepped back into time; or perhaps was on the set of a movie set in the 80s. One about a working girl and she has to walk to lunch and she doesn't want to wear those blasted and painful heels so she takes them off and puts on her much more comfortable tennis shoes- with protective socks- over her pantyhose and walks to that Deli down the road, the whole time thinking, "Screw Corporate America! Feminism, yeah!" but...sadly, I looked around...I saw no camera crew. And the time-space continuum seems to be in good condition so I can safely assume that I did not actually step back in time. Yes, tennis shoes, socks, and dresses do not belong together unless you are from the past or a little girl- and let's face it- those socks better be white and frilly, or with super sweet fuzzy dangly ball things on them (huh...that's weird to write out, but I don't know what they're called).
Also, I am aghast to see the tennis shoe with dress thing is even being used by certain "carefree" and "athletic" brides who just want to be "comfortable" on their big day. Ugh. Put on some heels or cute flats and suck it up...